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The White House playroom got very loud when Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelenskyy waddled in to talk about—what else—Tomahawk missiles. Trump opened with a pat on the head: “If you have a couple of questions, go ahead, please.” Then he praised Zelenskyy’s jacket like it was a fresh onesie. Priorities.
Zelenskyy, trying to keep his pacifier in, said the quiet part out loud: the Middle East ceasefire is “a momentum to finish Russia's war against Ukraine.” He added, “we need ceasefire,” and reminded everyone that “NATO is the best but weapon is very important.” Translation for the stroller crowd: snacks are great, but we still want the toy that goes whoosh.
Reporters asked whether Trump would let Ukraine strike inside Russia. Trump rocked in his chair and said, “We're going to be talking about that.” He said that a lot. Like… a lot-lot. On calls with Vladimir Putin? Trump said, “I spoke to him yesterday for two and a half hours,” and “I think he wants to get it ended.” That’s a lot of peekaboo.
The sandbox drama got spicier when a reporter asked about Tomahawks leveling the field. Trump again: “We're going to be talking about that,” but he also warned, “Tomahawks are a big deal,” and “We need tomahawks.” The baby math here: share the toy, but don’t give away your toy, but also maybe share the toy if the game ends faster. Clear as applesauce.
Zelenskyy pitched a swap—drones for missiles—like trading snack puffs. He explained Ukraine has “thousands of our production drones,” but “we don't have tomahawks that's why we need to hawks,” and, crucially, “Yes, we have proposition. We have we have brief proposition with our drones.” Trump said the U.S. likes drones too but reminded everyone that jets knocked down a lot of them recently, which is the diplomatic equivalent of “My bigger kid can beat your RC car.”
The friendship triangle cameoed: Trump said he’ll meet Viktor Orbán in Hungary—“we like Victor Orban”—and maybe loop Zelenskyy in later, because “these two leaders do not like each other.” Meanwhile, Trump kept thumping the “Peacemaker-in-Chief” drum: “I had a very productive talk yesterday with President Putin,” “We want to get this war over,” and his favorite food group, tariffs.
Zelenskyy stayed focused on not getting bonked: “we need pressure on him,” meaning Putin, and “between us for us bilateral security guarantees between me and President Trump is very important.” That’s baby code for: pinky swear, but in writing.
One more rattle shake from Trump: “Tomahawks are a big deal.” Yes, he said it twice. Babies love repetition.
Both Sides’ Reaction
Babies who clapped (Send the Missiles):
These kiddos say sharing Tomahawks could finally equalize the sandbox. They point to Russia’s ongoing missile strikes and argue that giving Ukraine long-range bite could push everyone to the negotiation crib faster. They liked Zelenskyy’s barter idea—“thousands of…drones”—as a way to keep U.S. shelves stocked while still helping the smaller kid on the slide. They hear Trump saying, “I think he wants to get it ended,” about Putin, and think the louder the rattle, the quicker the nap.
Babies who threw their blocks (Careful, That Escalates):
These tots worry that Tomahawks mean bigger bonks and longer crying. When Trump says, “It's an escalation,” and “We need tomahawks,” they hear: don’t give away the last pacifier during a thunderstorm. They fear deeper strikes could widen the fight, spook other playgrounds, and leave U.S. shelves bare if another bully shows up. For them, talks—“We're going to be talking about that”—should come before handing out the long sticks.
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