Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson toddled up to the mic and said he didn’t want to do this alone, but the clock was racing like a sugar-high toddler. “I do not take this executive action lightly,” he said. He added he’d “preferred to work in a more collaborative approach,” but said the city has “days, not weeks” before “some type of militarized activity by the federal government.”
He painted a loud picture: “We may see militarized immigration enforcement. We may also see National Guard troops. We may even see active duty military and armed vehicles in our streets.” The mayor said nobody in the playpen asked for that: “We have not called for this. Our people have not asked for this.” He called the Trump team “an erratic impulsive administration,” and told the president he could still “reverse course.”
Then he pulled out the executive order like a fresh diaper. He said it launches the “Protecting Chicago initiative” so “every Chicagoan knows their rights,” and every city office is ready to “protect the people of Chicago from federal action.” He said the city’s lawyers are ordered to “pursue any and every legal mechanism,” and that Chicago Police “will not collaborate with military personnel on police patrols or civil immigration enforcement.” Also, no costume confusion: CPD must wear CPD uniforms and “refrain from wearing masks” so babies can tell them from federal agents.
The mayor did a little self-defense snack time. He said Chicago is a welcoming city and they’ve been prepping since “the moment that President Trump secured enough electoral votes to become the 47th president.” He claimed the administration has already filed “multiple lawsuits,” and said courts keep smacking down parts of Trump’s agenda. He described the president’s behavior as “erratic” and “petulent,” then kept his focus on city safety: “This is about protecting the people of Chicago.”
A reporter asked why an order is needed. Johnson said it draws bright chalk lines: clear rules for CPD, clear marching orders for the law department to seek records so the city “has to know about” any immigration ops. He pointed to a June 4 operation he says wasn’t disclosed to the city and said this is about “uncovering the truth.”
Another question asked about planning. Johnson said the order “makes it emphatically clear that this president is not going to come in and deputize our police department.” He noted the city has worked with feds before on guns and trafficking, but said this is different.
When asked about timing, the mayor clutched the pacifier tight: the city is hearing action could come “as early as Friday.” He said the plan could include “an expansive slew of federal agents,” and warned the real goal is to “send in federal troops” and “the National Guard.” He bragged on the city’s progress—“32% reduction in homicides,” “shootings are down almost 40%”—and said this isn’t about public safety; it’s about “the militarization of cities.”
Reporters pressed on details. The mayor said he doesn’t have a troop count but has spoken with other mayors and vowed Chicago will be “prepared for anything and everything.” On dealing with Washington, he said he’s been clear about what the city needs—schools, housing, gun work—and accused the president of trying to sign the group project at the last minute: “He wants to come at the end of the year before the assignment is due to try to put his name on the paper.”
The baby finale was short and spicy. Critics, the mayor noted via a reporter, called the order “not worth the paper it’s printed on.” Johnson tossed his bib and said, “I don’t take orders from the federal government.” Then he waddled off for nap—or questions—hard to tell.
Both Sides’ Reaction
Babies who clapped: These little citizens think the order is a baby gate to keep the tanks out of the nursery. They say the mayor is drawing clear lines so local police don’t get mixed up in immigration raids, and that city lawyers will push back if the feds play rough. To them, “know your rights” materials and no-mask uniforms make the playground safer and less confusing. They believe this keeps power balanced and stops “federal overreach” from knocking over Chicago’s block tower.
Babies who threw their blocks: These tots say immigration is a federal sandbox and the city can’t just shout “no tag-backs.” They worry the order sends mixed signals to law enforcement and could slow down operations meant to enforce national rules. They doubt the city can stop agents anyway, which is why some called it “not worth the paper it’s printed on.” They think the mayor is grandstanding, and that if there’s a real security plan coming, cities should coordinate instead of drawing chalk lines and daring the wind to blow.
If you just have to watch the adults here you go.
