House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries
House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries waddled to the mic with a whole playpen of caucus pals and said the quiet part in outside voice. “We don’t work for you. We work for the American people,” he declared, reminding everyone that Congress is a “separate and co-equal branch.” Then he double-dog dared the president: “Don’t cop out through a racist and fake AI video… When I’m back in the Oval Office, say it to my face. Say it to my face.” Cue gasps, rattles clattering.
Jeffries insisted his diaper squad is “on duty,” while “House Republicans are on vacation.” He called a timeout for math: Democrats want to “Cancel the cuts. Lower the costs. Save healthcare.” He said Republicans “enacted the largest cut to Medicaid in American history,” and warned a refusal to extend Affordable Care Act tax credits means “tens of millions of Americans” getting scary notices and higher premiums, co-pays, and deductibles. He ended with a nap-time chant: “Protect your health care this week… next week… this year… next year… until victory is won.”
Then came story time from three grown-baby voices with real-world boo-boos:
Teresa Waloney, single mom of twin 13-year-old boys with profound autism, said Medicaid is “a lifeline,” not a budget line. It pays for therapies, specialists, formula, and yes, diapers. “These are not luxuries.” Without support, “children would be shut out of opportunities that every child deserves.” Her message: disability can touch anyone; justice means we don’t abandon families.
Tony Gonzalez from Pennsylvania, fighting stage IV thymic carcinoma, said ACA subsidies keep his gold plan payable. “Without them, our monthly premium would jump from 234 to around 450 a month,” he explained, adding his out-of-pocket max is $7,500 for him and $15,000 for the family. If subsidies vanish, he might have to drop coverage. “We really already break even just as it is.”
Katherine Henderson, surgical oncology nurse in Ohio, brought the chart. “Here are the facts. This summer, Republicans in Congress in the Trump White House enacted a big ugly law that slashed Medicaid and ended health care tax credits for working families…” The result, she warned: people lose coverage, hospitals close, and even insured patients face higher premiums. Then the kicker: “It could literally mean choosing health care or rent or groceries.”
The Dem stroller brigade circled back to the shutdown countdown. They said Republicans run the House, Senate, and White House in this universe and are choosing a shutdown over a health-care fix. The message got toddler-level repetitive on purpose: “Cancel your vacation. Cancel your vacation. Cancel these cuts. Lower costs. Save healthcare.”
Both Sides’ Reaction
Babies who clapped:
These babies say the math is simple: pull the giant scissors away from Medicaid, keep ACA tax credits, and stop playing peekaboo with people’s chemo, insulin, and pediatric visits. They believe the testimony proves real harm—families forced to choose between “health care or rent or groceries.” To them, keeping government open and premiums stable is basic crib safety, not advanced calculus.
Babies who threw their blocks:
These babies argue that emergency naps don’t fix long-term fevers. They say federal health programs are getting too pricey, deficits are a monster under the crib, and reforms (yes, even sharp ones) are needed to keep the system standing. They claim subsidies mask rising costs, hospitals need better management, and shutdown blame is a two-baby tug-of-war. In their view, spending discipline now keeps tomorrow’s bottle from running dry.Don't even try to kid yourself. You need this in your inbox ASAP as possible 👇
