The big playpen showdown happened in Los Angeles, where Senator Alex Padilla first waddled up and tried to share a wise saying: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” He mixed it up a little at first (baby brain fumble), but the crowd still clapped their tiny hands like it was story time.
Then Governor Gavin Newsom toddled up and took the bottle. He looked around and shouted: “We are in the most diverse city in the most diverse county in the most diverse state in the world’s most diverse democracy.” That’s a lot of “mosts” — somebody give this baby a thesaurus teether.
But then the mood got cranky. Newsom told everyone that ICE agents were right outside. He accused Donald Trump of sending his “minions” to do scary playpen raids, even telling the story of a “15-year-old disabled boy” who had a gun put to his head just for trying to go to school. Gasps, binkies dropped everywhere.
Newsom kept shaking his rattle at Trump, saying, “Donald Trump, you have poked the bear and we will punch back.” He bragged about California being the size of 21 other cribs combined and reminded the crowd: “Don’t mess with the Golden State.” Then he pitched the big plan — a November 4th special election to let California voters redraw the congressional toy map before the 2026 midterms. He called it “liberation day” and told babies everywhere: “We can’t stand back and watch this democracy disappear block by block.”
By the end, Newsom was practically stomping his tiny feet: “Wake up, America! Wake up to what Donald Trump is doing!” The crowd cheered like it was recess, while sippy cups sloshed dangerously close to spilling.
Both Sides’ Reaction:
The babies who clapped their hands loved it. They believe California is showing the rest of the sandbox how to share toys fairly. They liked the idea of putting redistricting in voters’ hands and felt proud that their state could model “celebrating diversity” instead of fighting over blocks.
The babies who threw their blocks were furious. They said Newsom was just trying to rig the toy map for his own team while pretending it’s “for the people.” They believe redrawing maps mid-game is as unfair as changing the rules in Candy Land halfway through, and that California is just having a tantrum about Trump.